none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
