I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
