If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
