I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
