This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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