You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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