dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Your cock deserves a montage
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
