Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
