WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
