can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Randomize
