Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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