I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It's never too late to be topless.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
