dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
