I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
