4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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