just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
