You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My legs feel like baby dolphins
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
