VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
