I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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