I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
