They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
