I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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