She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
