So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
