Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
