Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
