Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
