OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
