So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
