well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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