We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
