My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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