I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Sorry about my life...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
