Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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