1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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