i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
