Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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