I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
