Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
