guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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