wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Randomize
