my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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