it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
