You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
