In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
