wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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