im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
do herpes really smell.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
