Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He? As in you personified your dick?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
