So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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