I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
