I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
