Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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