...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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