yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
