Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
