im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
