I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
