Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
