I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
