Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
