East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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