I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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